Tag Archives: Binge eating

…..But it’s a beautiful ride!

15 Jan

Hello lovlies!
I am back from Chicago and I would say that it was a very successufl trip! I learned so much about being a Weight Watchers leader and I truly feel that I am meant to do this! I spent 3 and a half years behind the desk, weighing in members, and providing support one on one. At the time that is what I needed to do. However, through the changes in my life recently, I realized that I need to push myself. I need to step out of my comfort zone and do what is best for ME. Being a Weight Watchers leader is going to help inspire SO many people…..and insipiring them is going to inspire me. My leader helped me so much through my weight loss journey and I want to be that for someone! I was blessed to have my mom and aunt go with me and support me….but not everyone has that support. I want to be someones mom, friend, granddaughter, sister! I want to be the support that they need.

Losing weight is a journey…Its a process…and it doesnt happen over night. It has been 7 years since I started my weight loss journey and it is still difficult. I have a little talk today at a meeting to help inspire some members and someone asked me an amazing question. They asked how I changed my relationship with food and if I was okay with the fact that I can never go back to how I ate before I lost weight.

Now, before I lost weight, I was a binge eater. I would come home from school and devour chips, pretzels, and dip. I would eat at least two bowls of cereal every night before bed. And honestly eat non stop on the weekends. Food helped me feel better. I hated being the biggest girl in school, i hated not being able to wear cute clothes, and i hated disappointing my parents by not being active and involved in things. Food was my comfort. It was my drug.

When I joined weight watchers, i learned that i was addicted to food. I learned that i was a volume eater and i learned that i was also an emotional eater. I had to develop ways to stop this cycle. So, I spent hours in grocery stores and online finding recipes and snacks that had the volume but were good for me! I learned to turn to my mom or my aunt when i was feeling sad instead of turning to the food. I learned to find better coping mechanisms when i was feeling stressed. So i would read and chew gum to get my mind off of eating.

SO, to answer the question of if I miss how I used to eat before weight watchers, the answer is no. Because, tied to the way that I ate, is all of the emotions that came with it. I do not miss the excruciating pain of a best friend acting like they dont know who you are. I do not miss the embarrassment of not being able to fit in my desk. I do not miss the humiliation of having to change my clothes in front of others. I do not miss the feelings of being alone and scared.

The way I eat now brings so much JOY into my life. I am fueling my body with the nutrients it needs. The way I eat now is also tied to emotions. Feelings of confidence, empowerment, and happiness.

Don’t look at weight loss as a “diet” or a “quick fix.” It is a never ending journey….But i promise you…that it is a beautiful one!

God Bless.
xoxo – M

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S’mores, Pizza Pies, Cookies….OH MY!

19 Aug

I’m back from the mountains! I had such an amazing time and did not want to come home! It was so peaceful and just what I needed. My mom, dad, and I went up Thursday and had so much fun. We grilled hamburgers, made a campfire, and really just enjoyed each others company. Here’s the house we stayed in! It is a good family friends cabin…They were kind enough to let us use it! The backyard was beautiful as well. The water was right there! There’s nothing better than the sound of rippling water! So peaceful.


Friday morning my boyfriend, Robby, was able to come! I was so glad he was able to get away from work for a little! We really just hung out and enjoyed not having to do anything! We knew we wanted to make a fire that night…So we took a walk through the woods. I always thought I was the outdoorsy type…However, I realized I AM NOT! First I wore flip flops and shorts…Not a good idea! So then I changed into shoes, pants, a hoodie, and a hat! I was all set! We collected some nice sticks for the fire! It was actually really fun!



Saturday morning we went to the local ski resort that was 15 minutes away. They had a summer activity package that included tubing, slides, swimming, bowling, mini golf, paddleboats, rockwalls, and more! Our favorite part of it was to be able to ride the ski lift as many times as we wanted! There is something so peaceful about being about the trees and soaring with the birds! At the top of the lift was a beautiful lake! We really enjoyed being on the paddleboats!



One of the most exciting things for me however, was the rockwall! When I was overweight…There were multiple times where I encountered a rock wall. I was never able to do it. So, I knew I needed to try! I was nervous. Seeing it brought back all of the humiliating moments of not being able to either fit in the harness or not being able to lift myself up it. But Robby was right there encouraging me and I knew I could do it! I did it….But I didn’t get very far! Who knew I was SO afraid of heights and falling! I made it half-way up….And that was enough for me! It felt so good finally being able to do something I couldn’t do when I was overweight!

Now…along with all of these fun activities…there was food. A lot of it. And it wasn’t healthy. The majority of the summer I deprived myself of treats and things that I was craving. Deprivation is a terrible habit. Because in the end it backfires, which is what happened to me at the cabin. I didn’t eat one healthy thing and my portion sizes were way too big. Now…it is ok to enjoy yourself on vacation. It is ok to spurge and enjoy the food. But, I went back into my binging ways. I could have easily packed a healthy breakfast or a healthy lunch. Instead I stocked up on everything that I wanted all summer but didn’t let myself have. If I would have given myself more leeway over the summer and had more treats, this overeating at the cabin wouldn’t have happened.

I look at this as a learning opportunity. I know now that depriving myself doesn’t do any good. Because when I was binging on all of the bad food… I was feeling guilty. Which shouldn’t happen. Treats are meant to be a good thing! Your body needs them to speed up your metabolism! If I had allowed treats throughout the summer…and ate healthy meals along with treats at the cabin…the guilt wouldn’t be there. SO please…DONT DEPRIVE! Have a treat. Enjoy it. Plan for it. And get back on track the next day. If you do weight watchers like I do…count the points for it and use your extra 49 points! It is allowed to have French fries, pizza, and ice cream…but in moderation! I am human. I sometimes slip up. I sometimes go back to binge eating. However, I can recognize it now and move on. Today I was back in the gym, tracking my points, and eating healthy! It feels so good! Before I would have said forget it…I ate bad 4 days. Might as well give up on eating healthy. If that sounds like you…. 4 days of eating bad wont make you gain 20 pounds. Just like 4 days of lifting weights wont make you strong. It is ok to slip up! Just don’t give up!

I hope this post helps some of you. Having a treat meal should be a fun and exciting thing. Too many people think of it as a bad thing. Like I said before. Don’t deprive. Plan. Enjoy. Get back on track!

-xoxo M